2020
One Step From Enlightenment
With great pride i convey, to those who will hear
A message mere mortals, will find hard to bare
It is they who will say, that my words have no worth
For silken discernment ne'er comes from, a lowly sow's purse.
After great striving have i soared, to the highest of realms
And discoursed with a Deva, whose radiance quite overwhelms
He shone like the sun - a sight to be treasured
This Being, who sets standards, by which all others are measured.
Great wisdom was bestowed, upon one of true merit
To be scattered world-wide, for all to inherit
For this panna so pure, no longer to be sought
Is now to be given, to those eager to be taught.
But before it is given, my credentials i'll show
Proving my worthiness in being honoured, with that which i know
For i say with humility, honed fine and true
What this Deva has told me, is revealed to so few.
Standing squarely before me, with a look fearful and deep
My heart it did flutter; with cascading tears did i weep
But what he then told me, at last set me free
For, 'one step from Enlightenment', that's me!
So back to his Teachings, set upon tablets of gold
Raised up high and mighty, where only the worthy can behold
I'll warn you, they're contentious - not for the faint-hearted
So set aside all your dogmas, and hear what was imparted.
The Precepts are erroneous - they've been distorted with time
Changed so that the masses, may be kept well in line
Although they seem worthy, and not to be mocked
They'll keep your Enlightenment dreams, quite firmly locked.
So free yourselves from them - don't pay them such heed
They're restraints for the foolish - a dastardly deed!
For worldly ways should be welcomed, if you are to become wise
Not shunned with aversion, when nibbana's the prize!
So let go and enjoy life - set sila aside
Indulge yourselves fully, and cast your nets wide
Let all that befalls you, be enriched, made sublime
All this striving for goodness, merely wastes so much time!
They're a hindrance of proportions, that deepens your dukkha
They need to be severed, to allow the arising of sukha
I've experienced bhavanga, and so know that it's true
With this newly released wisdom, soon you will do too!
So now that you've heard, this Teaching so fine
Allow it to mellow, like a racked vintage wine
For time is the healer, for shocks such as this
But the Precepts, i promise, you soon will not miss.
It is with sadness, we must realise, so many were deceived
All those gone before us, will not be well-pleased!
Their works undertaken, in such a spirit of endeavour
Must be rooted out ruthlessly, and banished forever.
In its place we must build, upon foundations anew
For much more did i learn, that awaits each of you
But for now i will leave them, until your minds are more rested
For you'll need to practice great insight, for them to be fully digested.
This great Deva's Teachings, will then, at last, make you sound
You'll be freed from the shackles, by which all have been bound
Then, with a new found direction, we'll arise from the ashes
Like a Phoenix, renewed, to instruct the great masses.
We'll build temples of worship - signs of renewed faith
All classes will enter - from king down to waif
Statues of gold we'll erect, with jewels liberally encrusted
For symbols of Truth, should ne'er become tarnished or rusted.
This great Teacher's name, which not yet have i told
Should be displayed in these temples, prominent and bold
So be settled, and i'll reveal it - be no longer so vociferous
Hail Mara the Deva, bringer of times so melliferous!
At June 1996
So, why did i write such a poem, you may wonder???...
Hmmm...
Well, from an overall perspective i think that i felt (rightly or wrongly) that i had been treated unjustly (mistreated), both on a number of different occasions and in a variety of different ways, and perhaps due to some observations of certain lay Buddhists that i deemed to be less than skillful perhaps??? - so perhaps it was due to previously unexpressed inner anger(???)/frustrations that found a certain outlet via such a poem perhaps???...
Perceived unskillful actions such as the perceived attempted psychic(???) attack upon my person perhaps???...
The wilful and undiscussed/unagreed changes to a particular poem that i had submitted for possible publication - changes that i very much felt misrepresented me at a fundamental level, and changes that i only became aware of upon public distribution of a periodic journal during an official opening of a shrine hall at a Buddhist retreat centre, perhaps???...
Being seemingly wrongly suspected of unskillful actions within the Buddhist Centre that i attended - unskillful actions that had apparently taken place during each of the two occasions when i felt the need to take a break from such meditational activities/participations???...
And general observations, such as the perceived 'wrong/unskillful action' of a certain lay Buddhist teacher(???) towards a fellow meditator - 'wrong/unskillful action' that may or may not have been fuelled by alcoholic intake during his observed lunch-time visit to a local pub during 'Full Moon day' activities at such a Buddhist Centre perhaps???...
And what would i say from a current day perspective, you may further wonder???...
Hmmm...
That when a person in a position of authority/control is seemingly (from my own personal perspective of course) a rather/somewhat hindered individual, then maybe it is not surprising that others may inevitably(???) become tainted (to lesser or greater extents) by such a controlling/authoritative individual's perceived hindrances perhaps???...
So what message is such a poem really saying/conveying, you may, perhaps reasonably, wonder???...
Well, from my current perspective, at this moment in time, i would, perhaps most readily, say (rightly or wrongly) that it would seem to be saying two things perhaps...
Firstly, from my personal, perhaps experiential, perspective, it would seem to be saying/conveying that i had come to the conclusion (rightly or wrongly) that such a teacher of teachers seemed to be very much under the influence (if only occasionally, or within certain circumstances perhaps) of Mara???...
And secondly, if my first meditation teacher really did think that i, as a comparative newcomer really, was close to that which is most readily called/termed/labelled 'Enlightenment', then perhaps she had become somewhat tainted by such a teacher of teachers continued(???)/continuous(???) influences(???) - for as i told her at the time (if my memory serves me correctly), from my perspective i had done well to reach such a point (of consciousness) whereby i had walked through the doors of such a Buddhist Centre, in order to, learn / be taught, how to meditate 'properly'...
And finally i would also add that the rather apt(???) prideful tone of such a poem would seem to perhaps reflect what (if my memory serves me correctly) such a first Buddhist meditation teacher had also told me - that pride was the last hindrance to go/disappear before 'Enlightenment' is attained???...
And why did i choose to present such a poem to such a final third Buddhist meditation teacher in particular, you may further wonder???...
Well, the most obvious answer is that she was my teacher at the time of writing such a poem - and that it was/constituted something that i very much felt that i needed to do perhaps???...
And what was her reaction/response to the reading of such a poem, you may further wonder???...
Well, if my memory serves me correctly, she silently folded it up and placed it within one of her pockets(???) - with nothing said, in terms of any vocalised feed-back, within such a respect, from her...
And what did i think of such a third and final Buddhist teacher, you may also, perhaps rather understandably, wonder???...
I considered her to be an excellent, gentle, intelligent, and very considerate teacher - in fact i think that it is fair to say that all members of such a weekly evening class very much valued and appreciated her as their teacher also...
Addendum @ Sunday 9 April 2023...
As i lay in bed shortly after awaking this morning, i found myself wondering whether the, to me completely unknown, individual(s???) who had apparently broken into the Samatha Centre (as such a Buddhist Centre was called) and apparently desecrated the Buddha rupa within the main shrine room with red paint(???) was perhaps a previous disgruntled/aggrieved regular attendee to such a Buddhist meditation centre...
And, if so, that perhaps such an unknown individual had, like myself actually, become aware of what a rather unfortunate three word anagrammatical statement 'Samatha' could become if the 'h' was split horizontally to then become an 'i' plus an 'n' (something i was, in actual fact, made aware of (by my life Guide perhaps???) upon two separate occasions during such a journey through Samatha buddhism, but, within confusion, chose to ignore / put aside) ...
This then caused me to wonder who it was that had decided upon such a name for such a Buddhist meditation centre...
And then to consider, rightly or wrongly, whether it had been the then teacher of teachers whom i had considered to be a seemingly (from my personally perceived experiential perspective) rather hindered individual...
For those interested, the word 'Samatha' is defined/described within a book by Christmas Humphreys called 'A Popular Dictionary Of Buddhism' as follows - 'Samatha (Sk. and P.) Tranquillity of mind, rather in the negative sense of withdrawal. Cp. Vipassanā, the more positive achievement.' - tis a book that i presumably bought/purchased during my journey through Buddhism, which i undertook in order to learn / be taught how to meditate 'properly' btw...
(https://www.ourquantumparticulates.org/videos/the-enlightenment-poem)