2021
I can't quite remember how long ago my dad passed over to the other side of Life...
In my mind it seems like it could have possibly have been between two and three years ago now...
However, in reality, i very much suspect that it could be more like upwards towards the five year period...
I'm not sure of the actual month of his passing either - but suspect that it could possibly have been September...
Anyway, i experienced a completely unbidden 'dream' about him sometime after his said passing / bodily death...
And yesterday came the remembrance of such a 'dream' - and the idea of sharing it on this 'ere website for posterity / personal indepth remembrance...
Another thought that came to me was that it was possibly a rather apt time to do so...
It is a 'dream' remembrance that i have purposely not shared with anyone before btw...
Anyway, here it is...
I found myself to be looking down towards a classical type of prison cell - with the traditional style of fairly closely-spaced black-painted, fairly thick and round vertical bars - laid out in a square/rectangular configuration...
Within it, stood at the left rear of such an open-to-view cell, was a very tall (perhaps twelve feet high) and well-proportioned golden-glowing Being of human shape - with the outline of its body radiating such golden-glowing light outwards to a certain extent, rather than being strongly defined, as a human body is, here on planet Earth...
Within such a cell also, were three or possibly four adult male human beings - one of which was my dad...
He was sat on one of the long, fairly low benches that are similar to those found in sports changing rooms (in my day at least) for example...
His head was bent forward somewhat - with his forearms resting on his fairly open/splayed/spaced thighs...
He was opening and clenching his fists - and had a look of anger and frustration on his rather unhappy face...
As if, as much as he tried, he was simply unable to successfully physically challenge/better such a golden-glowing Being...
Upon initially seeing such a scene, my natural impulse was to instantly propel myself towards such a golden-glowing Being - as a naturally intended impulse to come to my father's aid, if you will...
However, instantly upon experiencing such an impulse, a supposed Guardian Angel type of Being, who seemed to be standing/positioned both behind me and slightly to my right, seemed to simply put his left hand onto the top of my left shoulder - resulting in such an impulse being immediately dampened/neutralised - leaving me to watch/survey such a scene within complete observational impartiality/neutrality...
End of 'dream' sequence...
My dad had been a naturally hard, and very physically capable man - and was of a fairly strict nature towards his children - the males in particular, if my very incomplete memory serves me correctly...
However, he was also a hero figure to me - in spite of displaying an extremely bad and easily riled temper at times...
He had married a woman who was simply not suited to him...
But upon speaking/complaining(???) to his own father about it, apparently, he was simply told that he had made his bed, and now had to lie in it...
And to his very great credit (from my perspective at least), lie in it he did - right up to the point whereby all his children had finished school and had reached working age - after which, the family unit broke apart, upon my dad's decision to go live with a woman other than my mother...
He had simply served his time, in my eyes - so i held absolutely no resentment towards him whatsoever...
When i had reached my mid thirties or slightly beyond, i actually wrote him a letter of thanks/gratitude and posted it to him - together with a gift of a very nice gold Accurist watch in very good condition (as new actually - and within its original box), that i myself had been earlier gifted, if my memory serves me correctly...
He seemed to very much appreciate such a gesture - and was seemingly very much taken by surprise by it...
Anyway, what did such a 'dream' experience tell me, one may reasonably ask???...
Well, that it was seemingly karmic payback time for him - a time for rebalancing - rather than a time for punishment perhaps...
For that is how i choose to view karma - and i see it, rightly or wrongly, as being an accurate view to hold...
As i see karma as that which is woven into the conscious fabric of the universe, if you will...
And the universe always tends towards balance/rebalance - in my eyes at least - a little like nature does perhaps...
And what advice would i give to fathers generally???...
Allow you children to express themselves naturally - even if they perhaps seem to express themselves somewhat differently than average/'normal' children - unless they are behaving in a completely unacceptable way, obviously...
And if you are fairly sure that you wouldn't make a particularly good father (or mother in actual fact), then maybe you should simply choose not to have any children of your own - as i so chose...
The 'sins'/conditionings/predispositions of the father being passed onto the children - and all that sort of thing yeah...
And in case you are wondering - yes, i very much look forward to the opportunity of hopefully giving my dad a big hug/embrace upon seeing him within the after-Life, when my turn to shed my mortal coil presents itself to me...
...As well as perhaps getting to know him properly/fully for the very first time - as i don't feel that i really did so, during his life-time, as my father, here on planet Earth...
Oh - and talking about karma - if you would like to, and have not done so already, please feel free to read The Karma Poem, within POEMS...