2020
A few days ago i watched an Akiane Kramarik YouTube video called 'The Light' - which i very much enjoyed btw...
Afterwards, as is my usual want, i started reading some of the comments - one of which was asking/pleading Akiane to pray to God on his behalf...
I had only read a part of it before feeling the need to make the following comment in reply...
'In my opinion you should be ashamed of yourself - pray to God yourself - and if you feel that He is not answering such prayers then ask yourself why - do you not think that Akiane is already doing perhaps more than enough for us all already???...' ...
Anyway, to cut a rather long story short, such a professed Christian individual 'rebuked' me in the name of the Lord - thereby casting me as some sort of 'devil's disciple', whilst seemingly casting himself as some sort of sainted individual assured of his later place within Heaven (in my eyes at least)...
In the event, it would now seem that all but his first comment has been removed...
Anyway, such a rather protracted interaction prompted me to share some of my 'Christian' experiences on this 'ere website of ours - so here goes...
Experience 1...
I remember singing 'Whilst Shepherds Watched Their Flocks By Night' whilst at my third (if my memory serves me correctly) primary school - i think i went to four primary schools in all...
There were some women from the local 'Women's Institute' present - and whilst singing i remember thinking i must have done something wrong because one of such women started crying...
Anyway, this then resulted in myself and some other male primary school children auditioning for the male organist at the local Church of England church...
I remember being instructed to read and sing 'He Who Would Valiant Be' (if my memory serves me correctly) from a hymn book...
Such a hymn started near to the bottom of a left hand page of such a hymn book, and was split into blocks of two grouped words which i read as continuous lines, as if reading a book - causing me to think whilst singing, 'this is quite difficult'...
Anyway, i managed to sing such words to the musical accompaniment of said organist, apparently to the required standard - and thus became one of the choir members...
I was later asked to sing a solo at a church wedding service - and this, in turn, seemingly resulted in me being invited to go for an audition to become part of the Manchester Cathedral boys choir...
In the event i never got to attend such an audition, as one of my uncles had, unknowingly to myself, been instructed to pretend not to be able to find said cathedral by my mother...
At a later date i wondered whether such instructions had been issued due to my mother wishing not to be 'outshone' by myself - but later reasoned that she had possibly done it in an attempt to protect me from possible danger (but hey, maybe it was simply due to monetary considerations???)...
Mum had been brought up within the Roman Catholic faith, which she later abandoned - so perhaps (if not for monetary considerations) her views had become somewhat tainted for some unknown reason???...
Whilst within my adult life, after some personal reflection, i asked mum whether she had been sexually abused whilst within the Catholic faith as a child - she simply told me that, no, she hadn't, in a tone that could possibly have suggested that she knew of some that possibly had been; and that marked the end of such a very brief conversation...
As a point of possible interest, the only thing mum has ever chosen to share with me with regard to her childhood experiences within the Catholic faith was her recollection of the seemingly local Catholic priest 'with the big full belly' who apparently made a habit of visiting each Catholic household, during at least part of WW2, to offer his succour and partake of a cuppa and some food, which each such household seemingly felt obliged to provide him with, whilst struggling to feed themselves - seemingly in complete contrast to the example set by Jesus, who seemingly fed the biblical 'multitude' with bread and fish; 'you would have thought that said priest would have been visiting each household with an item of food to offer them, instead of taking what each family could ill-afford' thought i...
Experience 2...
We were living at a private golf club situated down a long lane - well away from possible prying eyes perhaps???...
A rather large group of Catholic priests, known as 'The Wild Geese Association' (if my memory serves me correctly), had booked a day of golf - during which they later enjoyed a rather lavish multi-course meal...
During the various courses of said meal such cloaked priests had moved on from drinking beer and wine, to drinking spirits...
Whilst i was in the clubhouse kitchen my mum returned from serving such priests to say, in a somewhat shocked way, that 'dirty jokes' were now being told - and that one of the waitresses had had her 'bum pinched'...
Later still, my dad announced that such, now fairly noisy, priests had moved on to drinking liqueurs...
During my fairly recent adult life i reflected upon such an occasion, causing me to think that if i had been one of such said priests waking up, possibly fairly crapulently, the following morning, i would hopefully have realised that maybe such golfing occasions should be cancelled - but apparently they were not...
I then wondered who had actually paid for such seemingly periodic 'jollies' - and reasoned, rightly or wrongly, that it could possibly have been the 'flock' with their church attendance monetary offerings...
Experience 3...
During a period of time whilst i was working part-time in a discotheque, a very nice male Jehovah's Witness used to visit me every Saturday afternoon to chat with me at my front door - each time i would ask him a question that he could not readily answer, causing him to return the following Saturday with an answer that was given to him by his 'church elders'...
After a while he asked whether some of such 'church elders' could come visit me themselves on the following Saturday - a request that i rather enthusiastically and gratefully agreed to...
So the following Saturday i invited all three visiting 'church elders' into my home - rather looking forward to enjoying a discussion with them...
...Until i asked my first question, causing them to pick up their bibles and flick through their pages at an extremely impressive rate of knots ('the fastest page turners in the west' as Benny Hill may possibly have put it), before simply reading me an answer from a passage out of one of their bibles - 'oh', thought i in a somewhat crestfallen way, 'so no discussion then, simply bible reading tuition'...
I, rather mistakenly, had expected them to share their collective wisdom with me in order that we may have had a mind-to-mind philosophical-type discussion - anyway that marked the end of my regular Saturday visits from said very nice and chatty male Jehovah's Witness...
Experience 4...
I was taking a bath in preparation of my then girlfriend's visit, when there was a knock on my front door - 'girlfriend's name' is rather early thought i, before wrapping a towel around my waist and opening said front door in eager anticipation of her visit...
...Only to find two completely unknown young ladies stood outside - they were apparently canvassing for new membership of a local church...
One of them was suitably chaste - whereas the other could seemingly hardly keep her rather lustful eyes off of my naked torso (for an initial period of time at least), causing me to feel rather self-conscious/embarrassed...
Experience 5...
During the early part of my 'Spiritual Unfoldment' i had some Christian type of questions that i wished to be answered - so one sunny Sunday morning i had a bath and put on some nice informal clothes and shoes, before walking down to the local rather affluent looking stone built Church of England church (the vicar lived in a rather large adjoining detached house with large gardens front, side and rear)...
As it was my first (and only) visit, i had decided i would sit in one of the more rear pews and simply observe such a service whilst also joining in with the hymns and saying 'The Lords Prayer' etc at the appropriate times - i had informed one of the officials of my quest before being invited into such a church btw...
At the start of the service the local vicar singled me out from the pulpit and directed to 'come join in with the throng' so to speak - seemingly i didn't have any choice in the matter, so duly obliged his wishes...
...Only to be seemingly embraced like some long-lost brother by people whom i had never before met in my life - and whom obviously didn't have a clue about me either...
I suppose it never occurred to such a vicar that i could have recently lost a loved one and wished for solitude within such a setting in order to simply send a few private and personal prayers on their behalf - but hey, the vicar knows best yeah...
So then the seemingly compulsive, 'on your knees, wafer of bread and sip of wine' routine followed - before i was later invited into a sort of conservatory for tea and biscuits with the regulars...
I never did get my questions answered - apparently i had to become a fully-fledged member of the club, before then being presumably drip-fed an official interpretation as to what each word of the bible actually meant...
So surprise surprise, i went looking for answers to my Spiritual questions elsewhere - which turned out to be quite a journey in the end...
It's a pity Jesus wasn't around really, wasn't it - as i feel sure He would have readily answered such questions with a 'no strings attached' sort of approach...
Experiences 6...
These experiences involves the 'Mormons' as they were once called (if my memory serves me correctly) - before seemingly feeling the need to call themselves 'The Church Of The Latter-Day Saints' for some completely unknown reason...
a) I had gone out one early evening to visit a friend - i had chosen to wear my favourite short hoodless and rain resilient zip-up jacket, if my memory serves me correctly...
Anyway it had started to rain quite heavily as i was crossing a local duel carriageway, and as i had made it onto the opposite pavement i was accosted by two such Mormons, who were seemingly oblivious to such a rather heavy downpour - so, as politely/patiently as possible under such circumstances, i listened to what they had to say for a short while before explaining that i was in rather a hurry...
In the event (if my memory serves me correctly) they simply continued to 'serve the Lord', seemingly without a single thought for myself - how incredibly rude thought i, as i walked away at a rather brisk pace from them as politely as i felt able...
b) On this occasion i was returning from said friend's abode, and after i had crossed said dual carriageway from the opposite direction i was accosted by two seemingly very nice and attractive female Mormons - and as it was a rather pleasant afternoon i happily engaged them in conversation...
Anyway, some time later, they asked if they could later visit me at my home, even though i had explained that i was completely happy with the Spiritual path that i had chosen, of my own free-will, to tread/follow/pursue - well, they seem pleasant enough people thought i, so why not...
In the event three of them arrived - one being a lavishly tattooed girl who looked like she was more than ready for an outbreak of any possible trouble...
So anyway, i invited all three into my rather humble abode and invited them to sit down, before inviting them to have a cup of coffee and a plate of Oreo's that i had earlier bought especially for such an occasion - oooh the frostiness of one of the two Americans reply; perhaps not then, thought i with slight confusion and wonderment...
So, sat at my computer (with them sat opposite on my settee), the conversation commenced - until i asked my previously prepared/researched question that is...
...Which received a denial btw - let me show you on the computer said i...
Oh, you have suddenly realised that you are late for your next appointment eh - seemingly still rather early into our ongoing conversation too (from my perspective at least)...
Oh well, seeing that you are suddenly in such a rush to seemingly extricate yourselves from any further discourse, thought i - yep, they were definitely on a mission all right; seemingly of the 'exit stage left' variety...
c) I had just popped out to go to my local supermarket when two youngish male Mormons walking ahead had just received a rather curt and dismissive reply from a local male who was seemingly busy cleaning his front steps - oooh, i wouldn't mind engaging you both in conversation, thought i, as i picked up the pace in order to catch them up on such a nice sunny day...
...Resulting in myself happily engaging the rather clean-cut and smartly dressed cocky one (who looked, rightly or wrongly, like he may have perhaps done a little boxing???) in pleasant conversation - oooh, he doesn't seem to like the questions that i am asking, thought i...
...Oh well, i'll put my arms around the back and clasp my hands together in order to let him know that i mean him absolutely no harmful intent, thought i convivially, as the conversation continued - oh, now he looks like he may wish to get physical with me if he wasn't 'serving the Lord', sensed i rightly or wrongly, whilst standing at what i had considered to have been a fairly safe initial distance from him...
Oh well, remain calm and relaxed, thought i as i continued with such polite conversation - noticing that his rather smaller and lesser built buddy had his head down in seeming embarrassment at being stood next to such a now rather intently focused looking larger built buddy...
The point i was wishing to make btw, was that if you choose to come out on the street, as if you own the place, on a mission from God, and imposing yourself rather readily on unsuspecting people who are merely going about their everyday business, then please have the common decency to truthfully answer any reasonable questions that are put to you in a polite and relaxed manner - rather than seemingly wishing to 'railroad' such unsuspecting 'prey' into a religious submission of your own choosing...
d) On this final occasion i had cycled to an open-aired shopping mall in order to pay a visit to my reasonably local bank...
There was a tall male standing fairly close to where i had secured my bike, and a smaller, rather attractive, female stood further away - they both chose not to engage me in conversation as i passed them by...
However, as i exited said bank the female Mormon now seemed eager to chat with me - both seemed to be extremely nice people btw...
Anyway, being in a rather good state of mind on this rather pleasant day i quickly informed such a pleasantly enquiring female (in a completely forthright, honest, open, and rather detailed ongoing way/manner) that my Spiritual path was somewhat different to the Mormon one that she seemed to wish to introduce me to - however, we continued chatting in a very relaxed and pleasant manner for quite a while longer, before i felt that such a conversation had now come to its natural conclusion, and so bade my leave and rode home...
Upon returning home i started to remove some of the paperwork that i had been transporting within a plastic shopping bag - only to find a fairly small oblong cardboard object inside that had not been there before...
I took it out quizzically, only to find that it was requesting a sample of my faeces to be sent to the address provided - becoming rather concerned, i then noted that it seemed to contain some rather arcane(???) wording...
My mind then went back to the time when i was chatting to said female Mormon, whom i had noticed had momentarily glanced to my right during such a convivial conversation - why had she not alerted me to the fact that some unknown and unseen individual had possibly surreptitiously placed such an object into my open-topped plastic shopping bag, thought i, rightly or wrongly???...
...Before i rather carefully and cautiously placed such an object into my outside dustbin/trashcan...
I am by no means suggesting that such a female Mormon (Latter-Day Saint) was in any way complicit in such an object being unknowingly placed within said shopping bag btw - but never-the-less i find it rather strange/puzzling that such a seemingly very pleasant and highly intelligent Mormon 'Lord serving' female chose not to alert me to such a fact (given that she did indeed notice such a completely surreptitious act taking place at the time she momentarily glanced in the direction of said shopping bag as we were very amicably conversing with one-another)...
Experiences 7...
So, moving on to online 'Christian' experiences...
I've only, listened to / watched, a very small number of 'promoters of Christianity' on YouTube to be perfectly honest - but there is one that i keep in touch with on a fairly regular basis, even though i may not choose to, listen to / watch, that many of his online offerings at the present time perhaps...
He tends to use the word/label 'apocalyptic' rather liberally in my personal opinion - and seems to always be rather excitingly engaging...
However, to be perfectly honest, as a seemingly regular promoter of the 'end times' theme, i would have thought that he would be advising people to stock up on goods/foods that would help see them through at least part of a possible 'end times' scenario, rather than advising/promoting them to invest in gold, if he truly believed in such a possibly fairly imminent 'end times' scenario - it's an aspect of his videos that confuses me, but hey, maybe he will explain exactly why he so chooses to do so sometime in the future???...
I feel that there is one other aspect of such an online pastor's teachings that needs drawing attention to - and that is the seeming concept that by simply 'giving your life to Jesus' somehow all your previous sins/misdeeds are somehow magically forgotten, and thus assuring your safe passage into 'Heaven'...
This, to me, is simply a ridiculous concept - if only in the sense that it would be ridiculously unfair to all of God's other, non Christian, children, and thus smacks of extreme favouritism...
In my eyes such a notion paints a picture of Jesus somehow being desperate for friendship - so desperate in fact that He is willing to take on all the 'sins' of those who will pledge their life to Him...
...This, to me, is akin to a lonely person (a 'Billy no mates') sitting on a stool in a pub/bar, who offers to settle each person's 'bar tab' if only they will come chat with him for a while - it simply doesn't make sense (in my eyes at least)...
Such a notion reminds me of a story/'joke' (imaginary situation / parody) that i once heard, whereby a man goes into the 'confession box' each week to confess his sins, after which he goes straight into the pub/bar across the road from the church he has just walked out of - he then proceeds to get steaming drunk, goes home virtually penniless, and beats his wife and kids, before falling into bed and going into a stupefied sleep...
...Only to repeat such a routine 'adam finitum' on a weekly basis, every time he gets paid - seemingly believing that simply going into the 'confession box' and sharing his 'sins' with the priest etc, that somehow Jesus will welcome him with open arms on the day that he enters the afterlife...
I will say it once again - in my eyes at least, such a concept is simply ridiculous (as well as being grossly unfair to all of the non-Christians who may have lived much less hindered lives of course)...
...But hey, this is simply my opinion right??? - well i guess only time will tell yeah???...
And that, i think, concludes such a sharing...
By far my longest blog offering to date - did you reach it to the end???...
(https://www.ourquantumparticulates.org/videos/some-christian-experiences)