2023
Well, dahlings, what can one say...
...Other than perhaps, luxury, sheer luxury...
So luxurious in fact, that she has her own name...
...'Olivia' dahlings...
And, yes, one is indeed referring to one's now ordered, brand spanking new sofa dahlings...
So, the journey dahlings, the journey...
After one's new living-room carpet had been professionally (yes, professionally dahlings, professionally) fitted to one's floor, one's 1980 purchased, and now rather tatty-looking (bad boy Rocky, bad boy) sofa, was now much more obviously in need of replacement - colours dahlings, colours, they all need matching, and the colour and pattern of the old one simply no longer cut the mustard dahlings - and apart from that, one's now much older and sometimes creaking bones were finding it much harder to lower themselves onto it...
Twas the earlier inth year warning signs dahlings, warning signs - they simply made one realise that the darned thing was now simply too low tooth floor - causing one to struggle to sit upon it, during the period of time when one's legs and hips were indeed creaking for a while...
One originally had a rather blasé/relaxed attitude towards such further needed changes - however, that simply, and suddenly, changed dahlings - and, yes, it did indeed take me by surprise also...
So, after some surfing dahlings, one managed tooth narrow down such a search 'twit-to-who' personally favoured candidates dahlings - both of which were rather conveniently found onth same website (well, sub-websites actually) - namely, the ever so convenient Ashbrooks Of Sale dahlings...
...A mere cycle ride away, onth one's mountain bike dahlings - so, on Monday 16 October, orft one cycled - twas a bright and sunny day, afterall...
Anyway, upon entering such a rather upmarket establishment, one was told that 'Olivia' was indeed in situ dahlings - however, 'Savannah' was not - she, seemingly, had had the temerity to toddle off to Tweedies in Stockport - very inconvenient indeed dahlings, very inconvenient indeed...
Of course, business could have been conducted much more readily if one had remembered to take one's new carpet and curtain samples with one dahlings - but one simply forgot - resulting in one having to cycle back home, eat some much-needed food, and then cycle back again dahlings...
And, yes, the ever-so helpful Andy (yes, i know, coincidences eh dahlings, coincidences - they simply seem to be strewn all over the bloddy place - well, within my life at least) was, perhaps, rather welcomely surprised at one's return - no doubt causing that well-known phrase to pop most readily into his no-doubt rather excited mind eh...
Never judge a book by its cover dahlings, never judge a book by its cover...
So, upholstery pattern and colour selected, and recliner model chosen, as well as the 'stainsafe' together with two matching scatter cushions added, the total price was calculated dahlings...
£2619 dahlings - and, do you know dahlings, one didn't even bat an eyelid - and, yes, very impressive indeed, i know...
So, orft one toddled (well cycled actually) back home, once again, dahlings...
But then there were the, perhaps rather inevitable, early next morning anxieties to attend to dahlings - so, after breaking the fast, orft one cycled, once again, to put such ghosts to rest - and rest they did dahlings, rest they did...
Anxieties dahlings - one simply wouldn't wish them on anyone - simply dreadful dahlings, simply dreadful...
So, with a lead-time of between 6 to 8 weeks, one simply awaits the fateful day of deliverance dahlings - as, indeed, the reader of these words has to await the blog completing addendum, of course - so, adieu for now dahlings, adieu for now...
Addendum at 14 March 2024...
So with an expected delivery date of between 27 November 2023 and 11 December 2023, patiently did i await Olivia's arrival...
So patient that i didn't phone for an update / progress report until 8 December 2023, in actual fact...
...Upon which i was told that they didn't have my telephone number, so couldn't contact me earlier - which i found to be rather strange actually, as i distinctly remember giving it to Andy onth 11 October 2023 - possibly a simple oversight in recording it onth computer eh...
So anyway, having been told that Sherbourne apparently deliver such goods at their own discretion to their, no doubt various, retail outlets, i was then informed that Olivia would be delivered at 12 January at the latest - so wait i did - but not for long, as it happened...
...For onth 20 December, sometime inth morning, i received a telephone call informing me that Olivia had in actual fact now arrived at Ashbrooks of Sale, and could be delivered to me inth afternoon, if convenient - otherwise i would have to wait until the new year - so delivered it was, and the balance duly paid the next day, dahlings...
So why such a long wait for such an addendum, the reader of these words may quite reasonably enquire???...
Well it was all to do with the 'Stainsafe' fabric protection actually - a fabric protection that later turned out to be a 'Castelan' one instead - yes, it was indeed changed by Ashbrooks...
So i simply decided to await a presumed communication from 'Castelan', informing me of how long such a supposed fabric protection was guaranteed for before typing such a promised addendum - perfectly reasonable huh - although such a presumed communication has still not arrived, and presumably will never do so, so cellar v eh (as the French may say - or indeed Esther Rantzen, perhaps) ...
So, what do i think of Olivia - absolutely divine dahlings, a gift from the gods for sure - although, truth be told, 'she' was rather, nose dryingly and windows openingly, smelly for a time...
...Actually, 'she' still is exuding the same, umm, 'fragrance', even now, just short of three months later - but, hey, as is said, 'patience is a virtue' - and fairly soon, one supposes, all windows could be kept permanently open for some considerable time, so no worries eh...
...A small price to pay for such improved luxury dahlings, a small price to pay...
Oh, there is one other thing that i could mention actually...
I Received a number of aphorisms onth morning of 20 December 2023 (see 'Bits N Bobs' entries for the same day) - before Ashbrooks actually phoned me regarding such an offered, and indeed accepted, mid afternoon delivery of Olivia - one of which was as follows...
'We may never know what a new day may bring until it arrives' - somewhat spooky huh - well, for some perhaps...
(https://www.ourquantumparticulates.org/videos/sofah-so-good)