2021
I think it was most probably in the spring of 2012 that, after having earlier within my Spiritual journey read the Ramala trilogy of channelled books, i went online in search of more 'channellings' to read - for although (having much earlier been told that i was a natural trance medium) i had absolutely no interest whatsoever in 'channelling' myself, i never-the-less held a sort of fascination for such literature...
Anyway, such a search led me to the discovery of the word 'lightworker' - and this in turn led me to discovering that there were certain online 'lightworker' type websites that one could become a member of - something that very much appealed to me at the time...
I found that there were two that particularly interested me - namely, Extraterrestrials.ning, and Lightworkers.org...
...And since i had, from my own personal perspective obviously, experienced some strange phenomena (both within my waking, as well as dream states), twas orft to the rather trendy looking Extraterrestrials website that i first rather figuratively trotted - twas an online experience that, in the event, didn't last too long, as i took exception to an administrator's apparent deriding of the teachings of Buddha, which in turn resulted in me receiving a rather unfair official warning - which in turn then resulted in me telling said official that such a warning simply didn't mean anything to me ('this means nothing to me' ~ Ultravox)...
So that marked the end of such a participation with 'the go with the flow brigade' - with their discernment levels seemingly set firmly to zero (like travelling down a river in a canoe without a paddle, perhaps)...
...Thus leading me on to the much more bland-looking, but far more populated, Lightworkers.org - a website that i had in fact also joined at the same time i joined the Extraterrestrials website (twas simply that i hadn't yet interacted there)...
Anyway, shortly after making myself known, one of the regular, and obviously trusted, 'advanced scouts' was seemingly sent to check me out...
Twas a rather fun cat and mouse interaction that seemed to last for quite a few hours during one particular lazy sunny Saturday - she was actually an interesting and fun person to interact with, within a very playful sense...
...A supposedly Blackpool lass, whom i later suspected, rightly or wrongly, of not residing within either Blackpool, or indeed the UK, as, upon testing, i found that she didn't seem to have an appreciation of UK type humour...
The game very much started after i was asked what my interests were - to which i replied that i spent quite a lot of my internet time making comments within (at that time) The Guardian online newspaper...
...Which, in turn, caused said 'advanced scout' to ask, seemingly rather defensively and somewhat curiously, whether i was a journalist - which, upon now looking back, could possibly seem to suggest that such a membership in general may have perhaps been somewhat sensitive with regard to the likes of journalists...
Anyway, being in a rather upbeat and mischievous mood, i continued such an ongoing interaction by rather playfully avoiding answering any of the stream of rather intrusively perceived personal questions that followed - resulting in such a rather tenacious 'advanced scout' seemingly admitting defeat (i think she had, by that time, become rather frustrated with me), some several hours later - twas simply that i knew what game was being played, and as i really didn't have anything better to do on that particular sunny Saturday, play it i did...
Not that my time was always so enjoyably spent there though - as my stay there constituted a rather mixed overall experience really...
The overall impression i got was that there was a sort of mixed clique in operation - and that, in general, such regulars seemed to view themselves as being rather/fundamentally different than the common and garden average Joe...
A perception that rather intrigued me really, as i couldn't really get a Spiritual handle on them - even though i had, by that time, gained an overall understanding of a number of different philosophies...
It was the 'Ascension' idea that caused me quite a lot of confusion - simply because i couldn't really get my head around such a concept - anyway, more of that later, as i seem to be rather jumping ahead of myself...
So, what level of spiritual attainment had they actually achieved, wondered i...
...Causing me to look back upon my own spiritual unfoldment, thus far along the Path...
Well, thought i, i distinctly remember reaching the point whereby, instead of continuing to 'beat myself up', i started to see things from a humorous perspective instead - and could therefore begin to laugh at myself, to a certain extent at least...
So have they reached this rather early stage, thought i, within deep consideration - leading me to decide to 'test the waters' within such a respect...
...Something that didn't seem to bear any fruit whatsoever, may i add - apart from the rather silent vibrational distain that seemed to be directed my way, perhaps...
Looking back from today's perspective, twood very much seem that certain 'A Team' Members, (who obviously had a much better handle on the stark reality of the situation than i did) rather enjoyed playfully Inspiring me within such a respect - as, quite obviously, They were the People very much in the know, weren't They - tis a realisation that i now find to be rather amusing actually, as the reader of these words may, perhaps, rather readily detect...
So, what form did such humorous tests take, one may reasonably enquire...
Well i'm no longer quite sure of the order, but i do know that one of them took the form of a blog offering entitled 'The Budgie Mantra' - which, from my perspective was spawned out of personal confusion concerning the seeming importance of 'loving oneself'...
Twas something that i simply couldn't get my head around, because as far as i was/am concerned 'love' is simply an energy that is shown/directed from one person/individual (or groups there of) to another - and like all such energies/vibrations, they simply flow from one individual to another - so simply can't be contained, or indeed owned/possessed, as such...
...Whereas some such 'lightworkers' seemed to think it was important to recite certain 'love' affirmations towards themselves, on a seemingly regular basis - especially when looking at oneself in the mirror apparently...
...Such a thing simply seemed ridiculous to me - something i simply couldn't ever imagine myself doing - it sort of painted a picture of a practise that a very lonely person with extremely low self-esteem may perhaps indulge in...
So, from my personal perspective, 'The Budgie Mantra' was something that came into being out of sheer frustration of non-understanding, if you will...
So, come on, spill the beans, i can possibly sense a future reader of these words saying - oh, okay, if i must, replyeth i, rather dutifully...
'The Budgie Mantra...
A while ago i found my mind going back to the remembrance of a budgie a neighbour once had - it would look in its mirror, recite something its owner often repeated to it, ring its bell, and then do a dance up and down its perch, before repeating the routine once again...
Anyway, it got me thinking that if it worked for the budgie then maybe it would get me dancing also - if only in the metaphorical sense...
So, i've been looking at myself in the bathroom mirror on a daily basis, for a while now, repeating the budgie mantra - and by 'eck it seems to be working...'
And that was it - my Inspired (it was Them, honest guv, not me) way of saying, within a certain frustration of non-comprehension, 'come on, you can't really believe this sort of thing works, surely???'...
And what feedback did i receive, one may reasonably enquire???...
Absolutely none whatsoever - not even a 'well you mischievous wag you', or something of that nature...
I guess they sort of understood what such a budgie mantra actually was - it seemed very obvious to me anyway...
Who knows, maybe they hadn't yet gotten over the 'Ascension' non event of 21 December 2012 - and were still rather sensitive to things of a humorous nature being rather playfully directed towards them...
...hmmm - and maybe the cannabis i was fairly regularly smoking at that time had also contributed to such rather heightened playful 'mischievousness' of expression...
Anyway, the second form of offered/shared humour came as a result of seemingly fairly regular 'waves of energy' that were supposedly travelling both towards and past planet Earth at that time - strangely enough i noticed that i seemed to sense such 'energy waves' slightly before everyone else, so obviously found such supposed phenomena to be rather energetically intriguing...
...Twas like gradually cresting a wave on a surfboard, from my personal experiential perspective - and even though i have never actually surfed in my life (although i had water-ski'ed), this is how i experienced it within mind...
...Causing me to share such perceived experiences from a Data (think Star Trek) perspective...
Unfortunately twood seem that i never actually saved any of them - however i do remember one of them in particular...
It involved Data surfing out to sea, and not returning for a heck of a long time afterwards - and then, when he was finally spotted on the horizon, a female reporter waited for him to emerge onto the beach before asking him rather excitedly about where his rather prolonged surfing journey had taken him - to which a shivering Data responded in passing, 'f f f far out m m m man', as he headed for some eagerly awaited warmth and sustenance...
...A painted scenario that was most obviously of a fictitious/imaginary nature - as clearly, what was essentially a robot, wouldn't have been in need of either heat or food/drink - but hey, in my mind at least, it added a bit of extra humanity to Data...
...As did the emotional multi-personality chip that was incorporated into his character a little later...
And yep, you guessed it, absolutely no feedback from the 'lightworker' fraternity whatsoever - most obviously such people were decidedly not of a playful nature at all - bummer huh...
And the third one that i will choose to mention involved myself and the supposedly Blackpool-based lass...
I actually found her to be a rather fun person to occasionally interact with - by this time she had already asked me to critique a book that she was writing - a request that i accepted on a chunk-by-chunk basis, as my concentration wasn't very good at all at that time, so i found that such a request tended to tire me out rather quickly (my mental health simply wasn't very robust at all at that particular time)...
The parts of the book that i was asked to critique were pretty well written actually, so i didn't really have too much assistance/advice to offer - however, i soon sensed that she wrongly felt that i was perhaps being overly critical (or perhaps she wrongly felt that she hadn't done a particularly good job???) - whereas from my perspective i was simply pointing certain things out that could be improved upon / reworded...
So anyway, by this time she had shared publicly that she could see etheric 'portals', and that she was also seemingly regularly helping to repair the etheric 'grid' around the area in which she lived presumably - and that she was also acting as a spiritual teacher of sorts to one particular individual...
...So although she seemed rather quirky in nature, i found such traits to be rather welcomingly inviting ones, for at least they made her seem like a fun and interesting person to occasionally interact with - and, besides, i had never heard of Earth 'portals' or 'grid-work' before...
Anyway, let's get onto the actual interaction of purposeful misinterpretation...
We had experienced a lot of rain locally, and i had noticed that a number of the grids where i live had become blocked, causing rather large puddles to form both around and over them - so i asked her publicly (within the comments section of a blog that she had posted, if my memory serves me correctly) if she could perhaps pop round and sort them out for me (stating rather playfully that i was willing to provide her with cups of tea and butties if she agreed to do so)...
And then later within our typed exchanges, when i began to sense that she wasn't seeing the intended humour, and began to sense that i may have unintentionally dug a bit of a hole for myself (at the time i was growing increasingly concerned that she was seemingly simply not seeing the obvious - well, either that or she was simply out-playing me), causing me to suggest that maybe i should simply phone the local council instead (major hint) - to which she seemed to become seriously concerned that sharing the, to her, true nature of such 'grid-work' to 'mere' council workers could cause them to become rather concerned regarding the state of my mental health (the 'be careful not to cast pearls amongst swine' response perhaps)...
...Oh dear thought i, it definitely doesn't seem that she is simply out-playing me at all now - BIG oooops...
Anyway, to cut a perhaps long story short, the time eventually came whereby she seemingly decided that i had made the whole scenario up simply to belittle her - causing both herself and her friends to seemingly see me in a very bad light indeed...
...Until, several months later, within the Autumn time, when it had rained rather heavily once again - causing yet another number of large puddles to once again form...
...Whereby i had shared that i had managed to unblock such drains myself, using some of the smaller branch parts/lengths that had by that time fallen from some of the more major branches/boughs of some the the local trees...
...Whereby i Sensed energetically that the penny had finally dropped amongst such a lightworker fraternity - and that they now clearly saw the true nature of such playfulness...
Boy were they an over-sensitive group of individuals generally - and no, they clearly hadn't passed the humour test - so, clearly, from my rather surprised perspective, they weren't very far along the Path at all, in the Spiritual sense...
In fact some were downright nasty...
...Like the female who told me that she could 'crush me like a bug' if she wished to - amongst other nasty things she publicly directed towards me...
...Talk about a 'wow' moment - and she was one of those who were seemingly convinced that they were ready to 'Ascend', on the now infamous date of 21 December 2012, and move forwards to higher realms of being...
...An outburst that should have caused her to be banned from such a website (according to my interpretation of their own website behaviour rules anyway), had there not been a most obvious personally perceived clique in operation - from my personal perspective at least, of course...
It was in fact the second occasion in which the same seemingly unbalanced individual had attacked me publicly - on the first occasion i had simply let such an outburst slide past me without reporting it to the website administrator - however, given the sheer nastiness of such a second attack, i had resolved that enough was enough...
...Not realising at that point that such a personally perceived preferential clique was seemingly so firmly in operation...
However, upon not receiving any satisfaction whatsoever from said site administrator, i then let said nasty person's viciousness be known to all, via a blog - an action that then, rather incongruously, resulted in ME being suspended (no longer being able to offer blogs etc publicly anymore), rather than said nasty person, simply because i had named her...
...A suspension that i was told would remain until i (and seemingly, upon this occasion at least, only i) agreed to abide within the rules - a situation that i said i would need time to think about before deciding what course of action to take btw...
But then something rather strange seemed to happen - some rather anonymous (well to me anyway) individual seemed to have come to my rescue - resulting in my on-site status becoming normalised once again - which, in turn, then seemed (from my perspective anyway) to spawn a rumour that i had 'friends in high places'...
...And that was not the only thing that seemed to have resulted from such a seemingly 'powerful friend's' intercession on my behalf - said nasty person seemingly vanished from the scene for at least a month (and possibly more) before returning and never bothering me again...
...Result eh...
...Well, apart from the fact that other members now very much seemed to be wondering who i actually was, to have attracted the rather beneficial actions of such a seemingly 'powerful friend', of course - the term 'wide berth' comes most readily to mind...
If only they knew what an average, nondescript, type of person i actually was/am eh - ('strange times indeed - most peculiar momma')...
So anyway, a rather belated thanks (muchous gracias) to said seemingly 'powerful friend' - much appreciated kind sir/madam...
...(actually, looking back, i seem to remember posting an Inspired video by Leo Sayer ('One Man Band') just prior to my suspension - so maybe this is what had attracted such a beneficial intercession on my behalf(???))...
Anyway , whatever the truth of such a matter, this now most readily brings me to another rather strange individual - the 'Buddhist' blog contributor...
I tended to correct some of her rather inaccurate blog offerings - simply because they were sometimes factually incorrect, and i didn't wish others to be wrongly informed...
...She was seemingly simply unaware of the true nature/extent of my earlier Buddhist journey - which was understandable really, as i hadn't chosen to share such details in depth with any of them...
...She actually, rather defensively, announced that i was banned from making any further comments within any of her blog offerings - something that she couldn't actually enforce as long as i kept within the rules of such a website btw - but never-the-less it was something that i acceded to, as by that time i had simply decided that if she chose of her own free-will to mislead people (and thereby attract the karma of so-doing), then so be it...
She actually 'private messaged' me once - whereby, from my own personal perspective of course, her true nature readily revealed itself to me (i, rightly or wrongly, sensed that she had possibly been hitting the gin bottle btw)...
...Telling me, in a rather paranoid manner, that myself and a seemingly rather famous person, were married, and that there was no point in trying to fool her otherwise - and that we were deliberately creating mischief between us...
...Yep, she had definitely seemingly gone off the deep end that's for sure...
The truth of the matter was that such a seemingly famous person and myself simply interacted publicly, with regard to whatever each of us had offered publicly in the form of blogs and comments for example, upon occasion, and no more than that...
...Apart from the time when i pm'ed her to asked if she could remove and then resubmit a blog offering that i had made a rather ill-timed comment within - something that she readily and very nicely remedied for me btw...
...A good deed that i later returned when a certain male member was, in my opinion, being rather nasty towards her publicly - an interjection that, much to both my surprise and relief (he tended to communicate within rhyme, and i chose, rather unsurely, to engage him in a likewise manner), shut him up instantly btw...
...I actually gained quite a lot of respect for her - not only because i found her to be fun (albeit rather challenging on occasion, for i found her to be a very intelligent individual) to interact with, but also due to the fact that she was rather gutsy when under attack from certain other female members (something that i chose to simply observe in order to see how she handled herself btw)...
But, yeah, there were seemingly some rather strange and decidedly unSpiritual individuals in the mix - and they actually believed that they were candidates for 'Ascension' - which is why i maintain that some at least were simply highly deluded individuals...
And talking of 'Ascension' - what actually was/is it, one may reasonably enquire...
Good question, i would most readily reply...
From what i could gather/discern it comprised a set date (21 December 2012) whereby the most 'worthy' upon planet Earth were to ascend into the heavens, along with their presumably dematerialised bodies, to higher planes of being - at least that's the way it seemed to me anyway...
...And apparently it was of the utmost importance not to compromise the otherwise 'high vibrations' - for fear that this could jeopardise such 'Ascension' aspirations...
...Something that caused me to remain rather quiet regarding such matters, lest i was seen to be the cause of such a possible non-event - a possible reality that seemed only too clear to me at that particular time btw...
So keep quiet i did regarding such a subject - even though such a thing seemed very odd to me indeed - but hey, what did i know right...
...'Ascension' was, after all, a completely new concept to me - a concept that i found to be rather intriguing at the time...
...Even though i very much doubted that such an 'event' would take place - in fact i remember thinking that i would be amazed if such a thing did in fact happen - but like i say, what did i know about such things...
I did of course ponder such a thing within a sense of growing curiosity...
But such pondering could only result in one singular opinion - that there are only two 'doorways' in existence here on planet Earth - the birth doorway, and the physical death doorway...
...Thus my conclusion that surely it would prove itself to be a non event, would it not???...
So, as is now known, the 21 December 2012 date came and went without a flicker...
...And then of course, after a seemingly numbing silence, came the most obvious finger pointing (from my personal perspective at least) - phew, thank the Heavens i managed to stay quiet eh - as i could clearly see beforehand that i, a relative and seemingly rather unwelcomed stranger, could have become a most obvious target for having 'compromised the vibrations' perhaps...
...People always seem to look for an excuse after all, don't they - heaven forbid that it could possibly have been a misperception on behalf of such seemingly self-exalted souls after all...
So anyway, i saw such a non event as being a possibly rather welcoming one for me - for as i had previously realised, it could rather readily free me, in the sense that i could be able to express myself much more readily, without that now rather defunct accusatory 'vibrational compromising' finger pointing most readily in my direction perhaps - had not a feeling of seeming resentment set in amongst them of course...
...Something i could understand, from a point of compassion, really - as some had earlier expressed a sense of weariness of still being incarnate on planet Earth - so yeah, they were rather ready fodder for an exit stage left scenario to unfold i guess...
So, onto my original subject of interest - that of 'channelling'...
Yes, this particular website did in fact have its own 'channelling' section - which, in the main, seemed to comprise a variety of 'channelled' entities who were claiming to be high ranking extraterrestrials who were seemingly stationed in fleets of ships that were seemingly positioned rather readily in the near vicinity of planet Earth, ready to physically intercede on behalf of the masses in order to bring freedom, truth, and a sense of fair play to us all...
A very worthy mission indeed, one could argue - with a 'ground crew' of rather evolved 'starseeds' (seemingly very much self-acclaimed 'starseeds', whose only function/purpose seemed to be to massage their rather inflated egos with a product labelled 'Delusion') incarnated amongst its human population...
A section within such a website that, rather understandably perhaps, engendered much interest, debate, and yes, arguments (or rather strong differences of opinion, at least)...
There was only one, rather major, problem though - none of the 'channelled' pronouncements ever came true...
...Which, one would have thought, would have rather quickly ended it all - but nay, such 'channellings' are still in existence within other parts of the worldwide web - still seemingly making the same kind/type of unfulfilled pronouncements, some seven or more years later...
...Proving, perhaps, that such a rather persistent form of escapism is still engendering a certain amount of interest amongst certain types of people/mind-sets...
Anyway, eventually i grew rather tired of such a 'Love, Light & Namaste brigade' - as when put to the test, the vast majority of them seemed to fall well-short of such often made declarations - they, in my opinion at least, were merely words of convenience, rather than words of heart-felt meaning, so carried with them no real value whatsoever...
So, orft one ventured onto the 'NewLightBeings' website instead - a website that some of the previous 'Lightworker' members seemed to have migrated to sometime earlier within my Lightworkers.org journey...
...A website that i was also, at that time, directed towards - but having not concluded such a Lightworker.org journey, twas an invitation(??? - nah, they were simply, rather obviously, in my opinion at least, trying to get rid of me) that i originally rather silently and resolutely declined...
Anyway, the first thing that i noticed was that this particular website was rather quieter than Lightworkers.org - which quickly proved to be rather an unexpected advantage for me, as it allowed me to simply do my thing, with a growing sense of confidence, without interference...
...Which basically entailed me offering both blogs and music that i felt Inspired to offer - twas something that i increasingly enjoyed doing...
Occasionally i would be 'publicly messaged' (rather than 'privately messaged', as was the case with Lightworkers.org) by certain other members - some of whom seemed to be primarily interested in the type and amount of medications that i was taking (it very much seemed, from my perspective at least, that some felt that i may, perhaps, have been a potential threat to the sympathetic pecking order that, rightly or wrongly, very much seemed to have been in existence/operation within such a website) - which sort of took me by surprise at that particular time...
...Until i began to realise that such a website seemed to have been incorrectly labelled - as most(???) of its membership seemed to comprise people who were suffering from bi-polar disorder...
Twas a disorder that i knew virtually nothing about - until i made the effort to read certain related blogs and videos that were being published by one individual in particular...
...An individual whom i found to be a very interesting and openly honest...
Anyway, upon gaining such a realisation, i dutifully asked the creator of such a website if it was okay for me to simply continue doing my own thing - a request that he readily agreed to btw...
So, continue i did - until i decided to enquire about the 'special powers' that some seemed to be claiming to possess...
Tis something that quite naturally drew my attention towards, as it seemed to be a rather unusual thing to claim - something new for me to both consider and try to get my head around perhaps...
...Although i do seem to remember a Lightworker.org member asking me if i could 'heal' once - a question that i chose to answer rather humorously by saying that i had tried on a few occasions, but simply found that, as a result of such attempts, my health simply grew increasingly better, whereas the health of those i practised on seemed to simply deteriorate correspondingly...
...And yeah, you guessed it - it was yet another example of attempted humour that seemingly fell flat on its face once again...
Anyway, back on track - upon making enquiries regarding such 'special powers', i quickly came to the conclusion that, in my opinion at least, such claims were simply delusionary ones - and so, in the name of truth, chose to share such an opinion publicly...
...Which, in turn, seemed to cause a couple of individuals who were not, until that point in time, involved/participants in such a public discussion, to seemingly emerge wraith-like from the hidden depths and instantly attack me in a somewhat perceived to be, feral manner...
...Which, in turn, then rather quickly resulted in me receiving a temporary suspension from a seeming, previously unacknowledged, moderator of such a website...
Which, in turn, was then conditionally lifted under the understanding that i played nicely basically - a condition that i then realised couldn't seemingly possibly be maintained unless i refrained from interacting with certain others completely...
...A stance that such a moderator deemed to be unacceptable - even after i had explained to him that i had received permission to be able to do so from the creator of such a website...
In truth, it was very clear to me that such a moderator very much seemed to be telling me that it was to be his way or the highway - so the highway it turned out to be...
It was only at a later date, upon reading about about the main descriptors of/for bi-polar disorder that i found that delusions were seemingly high up upon such a list...
So basically i got banned simply for telling the truth - well, seemingly anyway - surprise surprise eh...
And thus comes the end of such a telling/sharing of my 'Lightworker' Journey...
And what has become of such websites now, the reader of these words may rather reasonably enquire...
Well the Extraterrestrials website has, as far as i know, seemingly bit the dust; the Lightworkers.org website, after a revamp, has seemingly been all but abandoned; and the NewLightBeings website elicits a '404 Not Found' message upon attempting to gain access to it...
And what did i learn during such a journey???...
That truth (as well as forthrightness) is often seen as an unwelcome guest...
(https://www.ourquantumparticulates.org/videos/a-lightworker-journey)